Fear Of Language

 

As far as I remember, writing has always helped me to express myself better. I am not much of a chatterer. It all started with capturing my day to day activities, events and my feelings and emotions in a personal diary.

I did this task very religiously every single day. As a result, today I have dozens of such diaries stacked in my cupboard, not touched for a very long time. But one thing I know for sure that the day I go through those diaries , there will be so many interesting events and stories that will pop out onto this blog. Let’s hope that happens soon.

Initially, all the things I wrote in my diary were tagged “Strictly for my own eyes”. But eventually, I tried sharing it with few people. But two main reasons why you should not share :

  • First, It is PERSONAL dairy. (Ughhhh!)
  • Second, I found that those friends really didn’t care about what I was trying to capture or convey, they were trying to flip through pages to see what I have written about them. And the annoying part was the questioning round that followed.

So I learned that it’s not a good option to share everything from your personal experience.

Then, one fine day in the month of August 2008, I thought of keeping self-doubt aside and share my views with the world. (Not that the world is short of views and opinions :-)) but still, I thought of giving it a try. This resolution also meant that first I had to overcome my fear of language. Yes, ‘Fear of Language’ is a real thing for me.

Over the years I have learned that even though you may be good at your job, your seniors might appreciate your work and you even earn decently, it still doesn’t guarantee that you are knowledgeable. Most of the time, you are good at work, because you have been doing the same thing over and over again for several years and unconsciously it has become your second nature. So the society outside might think you are a genius, but for  you, it’s a never ending chore.

I was never a bright student and never was interested in studies. So when it came to learning languages, I never took it seriously. Which I regretted a lot and as I grew older the regret turned into fear. I had so much to share, but the lack of vocabulary or fear of mistakes held me back.

So what did I do 8 years back in the month of August? Well, I got myself registered to Writing.com. I might sound promotional but the website is really good if you are serious about writing and want to learn. There are many people who will happily review your writing and provide feedback. It is a helpful site if you want to grow as an author and it’s free. I always wanted to become an author, as it is one of my goals, please refer My Bucket full of list 2 Point #24.

So  if you can relate to me and have ever experienced the ‘Fear Of Language’, just hold your breath and dive into the world of writing. I know you will learn to float if not swim, just as I did. And remember no matter how bad or good you think your grammar is or how short your vocabulary is, it’s better to try and get criticized rather than to wait for that one golden day where  everything is going to be perfect, and that day might never come if you don’t start today.

And to end the blog, find my first submission on writing.com below and checkout  My Portfolio for more.

My Life a Quest

I find myself in middle of a tunnel. Far at the end of the tunnel, I can see a dim light, my only way out of this dark and scary tunnel. I run, I walk, I crawl but more I try to reach that light, more it runs away from me. I look back and see that I have come a long way. I try to remember when I entered this tunnel and why did I???

Its dark, its scary and lonely. Now I have only two options either to just give up and wish that the darkness consumes me forever or just keep moving ahead with a hope that I will touch that light one day and feel free. Hope is all I am left with.

My dear readers your suggestion and feedback are always welcomed.

4 thoughts on “Fear Of Language

  1. Shikha Upadhyaya says:

    I’m going to try out your suggestion for sure. Writing is one of the best way to share, learn and explore.. I can relate to your experience and tried out sometimes to write down the stuff (which I never shared… )going out in my mind. Thanks. Keep posting..

    Liked by 1 person

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